Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Awkward

I talked with Jen for the first time since I got to OU today. A weird little moment, someone I was so close with now distinctly at arms length away, unknown and foreign to me.  It was a pretty shitty feeling considering shes the only person I opened up to really at OU, and that avenue doesn't seem to be open anymore.  I'm split between a desire to express my own anxiety because it seems healthy, but having trouble separating out a pervious interaction with what is now mandated.  

It is a pretty shitty feeling.  Her view of me has shifted radically I think too. Now everything I say comes off with spite and venom inside of my words, her eyes stare like I am a cruel beast heel bent on crushing her.  She passes judgement on me for playing virtual Janga (Ps. Boomblocks is the best game in the fucking world), and when I suggest she isn't so different she gets upset.  Its odd to me, and I think I figured it out.  She legimaitly doesn't like the notion of being dependent on technology, while not realizing how much it truly permeates what we do, a hater of it through and through.  I like that about her so much.

I am no longer looking forward to being at OU this year.

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