Hey hey!

How often do you end up in conversation? I find myself starting to try and communicate more with people, and I am met with a issue. When people do communicate, is their normally decent amounts of time when they say nothing? Is their a need to speak?

One of my favorite lines every was
Mia: Don't you hate that?
Vincent: What?
Mia: Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable?
Vincent: I don't know. That's a good question.
Mia: That's when you know you've found somebody special. When you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence.

A beauitfull quote in my mind. I still try and fill the gaps thought, recentally in order to communicate I fill it with jokes that I don't even think are that funny. Maybe I'll get a chuckle? The humour is that they get responses, but not because they are funny. A chuckle maybe after a moment, when it is recognized as a joke, to be like ha that is an attempt.

Gaps in interaction create a weird sort of event, a divide between how well one nows the other becomes formed, seperation occurs. The odd thing is this occurs relative to the normal amount of communication, happy little severings of who we are. Strings aline, but never so fully. I have three examples of this now, Nabihah, Jen, and one other.

With Nabihah time means nothing, a infinitie approach is taken. Four years until a single event becomes discussed, reasonable. So whats a summer? Whats a week? Whats a semster? Nothing signficanct will change inside of those peirods, so conversation can stay for these changes.

With Jen I cut her out. Oddly, I mapped the entierty of my interaction with her out early, and was able to predict key events, shifts in the interaction. I spoke with her for the first time in a month or two, and I am gratefull to maybe be back as a friend. With her, I had the continual problem of becoming re attached when I would talk with her, so the solution was a complete removal. Now it is past, its events that have occured, the line reached a complete and solid end. So I can ask about it, well not so easily. I am scared for preception, I am scared to be precieved. Along with not quite knowing where I should fall, what kind of friend I am? An acquitance? I felt at arms length this time, but I don't think it was my arm that was stretched out.

Than their(fun fact, I have virtually no idea if that is correct) is another. Sure of nothing, confused about all of it it behaves like a game of sorts. Distance confounds the interaction, and makes it more diffcult to read. I don't quite get to cheat like I can when I see someones face. That makes it all the more easier, because if I can look at you I can figure you out...potentialy. So I wonder where this road will take me.

I wonder who I am refering to? Its not even completely clear to myself.