Making Friends

I'm wondering if I've never been very good at the making friends because of some simple choices. I didn't interact with other kids until I entered pre school. Quite, I just kept to myself. Away I took a hands off approach to interacting with everyone else.

This naturally made me the most popular kid around, everyone would flock to come and talk with me.

Or at least in my mind that was the case. Instead I developed something else, a large sense of fantasy. I just imagine more ideal situations, interactions, a world where things go well.

Why do people approach each other? What makes one speak to another? I've never understood it. As a child it is the time to learn this talent, I am very upset I did not. Ultimately I met people by having class, where interaction was easily forced.

College has been a similliar event, but this time I've phased into the wall. I am anonymous and unknown. Its nice to tell myself that this is a healthy interaction with the world, but I can't even pretend to believe it.

"Can Sally come out to play?"
"Maybe"
"Well that would be great"
"No, she can not"
"...Are you sure?"
"Maybe...On third thought no"

I wish to go and eat dirt, or bury my head in the sand. At least that would make everything else more clear. Than it hits me, I DO eat dirt. I just wasn't aware it was dirt I was eating.