A foreign devil of a word. Who is productive for them selfs? How could one possibly know what they need to do? Its always been a bit of a un state concept that undercuts my being. How would one know when one should express, vs. hold back? Work vs. blow off?
I realized what it was, was not caring about the difference. Working on everything, leads to good results.
Than I learned how I can cheat. A magical little pill that makes me more social, and also makes me work? I express myself possibly redundantly and rantishly, but thats because people don't care to hear.
I don't care what happens. I might fail, I might fall into addiction. But whats the opposite side? I might succeed?
The wager is my body. The prize is happiness. How can I not throw the dice?
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